You're so nebulous sometimes
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
