Your mouth is God's brothel.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
