You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
