So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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