Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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