God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
