if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
