Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
