I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
