i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
