Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
