first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
