We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
