I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
