This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize