Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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