my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
