I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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