I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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