She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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