were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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