I puked a lego.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
