There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
