11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
