His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
