i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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