My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
