I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
