Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
