Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
