From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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