You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
