I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
