Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
