Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Let's get the cat blown out
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
