I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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