Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize