Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
