I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
