I can tuck mytits in my pants
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
