So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
