North Korea, Best Korea!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
