I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm passing your future prison.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
