My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
