They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
