I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
