Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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