i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
