I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Drunk is not a location!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
