Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize