That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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