what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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