So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do vagina's smell?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
