Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I intend to get homeless drunk
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
