Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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