I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
