Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
