its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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