Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
