I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
