Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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