just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize