hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Randomize
