Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
