I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize