My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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