I'm so fucking centered right now
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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