It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
