I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
