so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
