I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
