watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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