I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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