lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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