so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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