Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
