That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
